Oh my dear. I’m having one of the most relaxing day of the week. Went out with marisa, tya, nimas, andini, and maggie, then met hanny at aksara. Met nay there of course. After that visited arga’s house and gave her the present. Talked, and having a good time there, then straight to citos. Just to chill out and resting on one of those cozy couch at gloria’s. talked about lots of things around boys, relationships, and life itself. Mostly with maggie, marisa, and hanny. Hanny took me home, along the way, we talked about relationships, and how most of the guys out there, is very hard to understand.

Andre phoned me and asked whether I could accompanied him to dinner after church. I was at arga’s so I said that I cant. [ouch.. my uncle was like about 5 metres away from me, and he typed on the keyboard so hard and violent, that my heart starts to pumping like hell! I really thought he might smash that keyboard against the wall or something. He’s actually freaking me out!!!] Anyhoo… [still cant get my mind out of his violent typing!] x( I cant go on..

...

phew, finally it stops. Talking with hanny made me realize, that I still care for Jedi. All of my dissapointmen towards him by all of defenses are actually just a way to justify my broken heart. Yups, I admit it I feel broken. Why? Cant indira admit that she’s fragile in a way.. [you are, and we already know it!] pfftt ya su…

like what marisa said, “if only we can erase the past and just live today and have tomorrow.” Apperaently, we cant. Those bitter sweet past made us stronger, it made us who we are now. Cant we just be proud about that? Or are we too crushed to admit it?

I miss him. I still care for him. I guess I feel so much ... that I cant deny that I ...
I feel so low x’(